Sunday, November 26, 2006

Rocking Your F#@$ing Socks Off

What's next? I'll tell you what's next, Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny, that's what's next.
But first a little run on sentence rant. You know what sucks, and when I say sucks I mean draws air, massive amounts of dung filled air and when I say dung filled air, I don't mean pu-ehr that aged and oxidized Chinese tea that smells like mouldy cave rocks, but shit, shit filled air. Movies. Movies that you are totally stoked to see and have been waiting patiently for months, checking out trailers, reading websites and blogs put on by other losers with just a slight bit more free time than you, extolling there opinions, leaked footage and "inside" information on the movie. And then just a few weeks before opening day, you get your first glimpses of the movie on TV, with trailers that many times give away entire chunks of the film that make spending the $12 to see what many times turns out to be a complete waste of celluloid a total waste of money. (I'm looking at you Star Wars.) That's what really sucks man.
But you know what didn't suck....Tenacious D and the Pick of F'n Destiny man, that's what didn't suck.

Now with that being said, if you know what Tenacious D are about, then you know exactly what to expect from a this movie.
If you go in expecting an Oscar worthy performance by JB and KG, with deep character roles and a riveting story that delves into the true meaning of mans inhumanity towards man, then you are either;
A) An idiot
B) A movie reviewer from some back woods, religious, mid-western state
or C) Both
This movie is about rocking your collective socks off, fart jokes, bong hits and did I mention rocking your socks off?
I may be getting older and approaching my dreaded "adulthood", but the day I find a fart joke not funny is the day you can throw my cold dead body in the ground.
The laughs, the rocking and the cameos come fast and early. You pretty much have to take a second look at each supporting character to see who they are. The best being, Tim Robbins and Dave Grohl (I had no idea that it was Dave Grohl till I saw the credits).
Anyhoo, the movie was fun, easy going and filled with a monster amount of sock rockin' riffs. I don't want to give away too much, cause I think you should all go out and see it on your own.
Actually I can't wait to see it again at home on DVD. I'll invite Gary over, we'll relax on the couch with some M & M's and beer and have a private viewing of our own. He always makes movies way more fun and I think that this one will be no exception.
So with Borat being as awesome and over the top as it was and Tenacious D being way fucking awesome too, that makes two for two in movies that I've been stoked to see and haven't sucked.
Which is pretty much the longest streak since as far back as I can remember.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Grey Cup 2006

What's next? I'll tell you what's next. Grey Cup 2006, that's what's next.
For 30 years I've managed to avoid the entire province of Manitoba. In fact I was convinced that if Manitoba were to suddenly fall of the map, if it were some how sucked into James Bay, no one would notice. One day you'd just be driving along, taking a short little jaunt through Northern Ontario and you'd make a quick left and suddenly find your self in Saskatchewan. You'd pause, stop the car for a tick, look around and then ask you're passenger, "Wasn't there something here before?"
They'd answer back, "No. But we did get to Saskatchewan remarkably quickly."
Then you'd both shrug and continue on driving into the giant field of grain that's right in front of you for like the next day.
Well no more people. I finally made it. And boy it was everything I thought it would be...and more!
Thanks to the good people at TSN (Ed and Allen) my buddy Adam and I were invited to Winnipeg to join in the festivities and take in the 94th edition of the Grey Cup. Well it wasn't so much as WE that were invited as it was Adam, but either way I managed to nudge my way in on the deal. So on Saturday we jumped onto Air Canada flight AC 254 and headed Northwest to the province everyone forgot about and it's capital city Winnipeg.
The first night was a black tie dinner on the floor of the MTS centre followed by a Tom Cochrane and the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra concert. Now I'm not really a big Tom Cochrane fan, in fact when I hear the first few chords to "Life is a highway", I'm instantly rushed back through time to the magical summer of Grade 9 when both my brother and sister owned that wonderful CD and played in pretty much every waking minute of the day. And when they weren't playing it, it was almost definitely playing on the radio somewhere. Oh, what a time it was. Needless to say I'd rather stick a searing hot fork in my eye than here that song, but since I was hear on the TSN buck, I put the fork out of reach, sat on my hands and grinned through the entire show. Well that plus I slammed a few beers down to calm my nerves.
After dinner we headed out to Winnipeg's new hot spot, (yes, believe it or not Winnipeg does have hot spots) "Alive". The bar was good, the beer was free, but after a few hours Adam and I thought it best to go explore the Winnipeg bar scene. We hit up a few pubs then ended up back at the hotel bar and drank with a few out of towners who were in for the game.
It's amazing really, they say that hockey is our "National Winter Sport", but if you want a true slice of Canadiana you have to go to the Grey Cup. There are so many people who travel from all over the country, Newfoundland to Victoria, every year just to take in the game, it really let's you appreciate just how small our giant country is.
Anyhoo, after a few beers down in the hotel bar we headed up stairs to pass out. But low and behold some thoughtless stranger stole a sign from the restaurant lobby and left it in our elevator. Who were we to refuse such a gift. So we take the sign out of the elevator and start to lean the sign up against the first door we see, giving it what we used to so lovingly call "A Leaner". But no sooner had we started with the leaner, when the police came around the corner.
Well that was pretty much that, they yelled at us a little and told us to get to our rooms....quickly. Which we did. But low and behold when we got there our key didn't work. So I thought it best that I should hold the fort and Adam should go down to the lobby to get a new key. Three subsequent trips later, each time a new key and each time no dice, I finally passed out in the hallway outside our room. I was awoken minutes later with another police officer yelling at Adam to get in the room. Luckily this time the key worked.
Funny thing is, last time Adam and I went to the Grey Cup (in Ottawa) we had to be let into our rooms by a police officer. Meh, these things happen I guess.

The next day, Grey Cup Sunday, Adam and I headed out bright and early to find a brew pub so we could get primed for the game. We walked for about and hour in the near freezing, windy weather only to discover that the brew pub had closed. So we walked about another half hour before we found a place that was open, The Pony Corral. It sorta sounded like a gay bar, but being that this was Winnipeg and not the corner of Church and Wellesley, we decided to take our chances. Three hours and countless drinks later it was almost game time. So off we went back to the hotel to get ready and head out to the stadium.

The game itself wasn't that great. In fact it was one of the worst Grey Cups in recent memory. I think there were two touchdowns in the entire game and Montreal only had one first down in the first half. But much like the Super Bowl, it's not just about the game, but the spectacle. And what a show it was. The good people from Winnipeg and the CFL put on a great show that was enjoyed by not only the sell out crowd but the countless people around the country watching the game on the CBC. I think BC won. Then the Grey Cup broke. Only in Canada could that happen. Imagine what kind of scandal there would be if the Super Bowl Trophy broke? As ugly as that trophy is, I don't think it would ever break on National television.

So full of fun...and beer....but mostly beer, we headed out into the night to enjoy the festivities around Winnipeg. I'm not sure how many bars we went too but somewhere along the way we managed to pick up these replica uprights which we took with us around the city. Most of the cabbies were quite happy to allow us to use there trunks and bungee cords as we carted these stupid, yet awesome goal posts around with us.

This is just an awesome sign we saw. I might not have been able to find Manitoba but Syphilis apparently did. And it's taking it by storm baby!


All and all the weekend was a smashing success. I finally made it to Winnipeg. We got drunk. We saw the 94th Grey Cup. We got drunk. We met some wonderful Canadians from sea to shining sea. We got drunk. We were accosted by some police. We got drunk. We found some goal posts and we got drunk.
The sun might be setting on my youth but I think I can still manage to have a good time.


Oh and by the way, it's Adam's 30th birthday today. Welcome to the club old man.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Canadian Beer Awards

What's next? I'll tell you what's next, the Canadian Beer Awards, that's what's next.
This past Thursday I had the pleasure of attending my first ever Canadian Beer Awards Gala ceremony, presented by Taps Media at the Theatre Digital in Toronto.
Still in it's infancy, the Canadian Beer Awards are moving into just their fifth year of existence but from what I witnessed on Thursday night the snowball is heading down hill and picking up some of that packy snow you used to relish as a child and shows no signs of slowing down.
While we are on the subject, do you remember that? Packy snow? Remember when you used to be able to distinguish between different types of snow? There was the aforementioned packy snow, which was wet and sticky and great for making snowballs, snowmen and other snow related sculptures. But it usually left your snow pants completely soaked by the end of the day. Then there was powdery snow. It was light and airy and was basically useless when it came to snowball making. But what it was excellent for GT snow racing and making new toboggan runs through the trees. Then there was that hard packed icy snow that formed a crusty layer across the snow. That shit was completely useless and good for basically nothing but breaking off chunks and throwing at kids younger and smaller than you.....anyhoo, where was I? Oh yeah, the Canadian Beer Awards.
Judged by BJCP certified judges and with 21 different style categories and showcasing entries from coast to coast this was truly a national event.
The Gala began with what else but a sampling of some of Ontario's fine microbrewed beers. I say Ontario's and not Canada's fine micorbrewed beers because the douche bags over at the LCBO decided to not let any of the contestants from out of province bring their beers to the Gala for sampling. I mean far be it for them to allow some of the best beers in our nation be showcased for beer drinkers who may want to buy these products in the future. I mean, where are they going to buy it anyways? Oh, right they have to buy it from them cause they are part of a government sanctioned monopoly....but wait, I'm sorry, I'm not going to go into the whole rant about the completely asinine beer laws in this province. I'll save that for another post.
So after sampling a few of the beers it was time for the awards. Which for the record were done in exactly one hour, which was perfect.
Clearly the two biggest winners on this evening were Swan's Brewpub from Victoria, which took home twelve awards and was given an Honorable mention in a new CBA category, the 2006 Brewpub of the year.
The other big winner being Magnotta Breweries in Vaughn. Which took home 5 gold medals and 1 bronze medal for the 6 beers it entered in the competition. And for doing so, also took home the big prize of the evening the Canadian Brewery of the Year Award for 2006. Now I think it's worth mentioning here that I'm actually a brewer at the Magnotta Breweries...not that I really had anything to do with these awards, as they were actually selected back in May, a good two months before I started....but none the less, it's nice to know that you work at a brewery that makes really good beer and you are contributing to the beer community in a positive way.
And that was the main thing I took away from this evening (other than the copious amount of free beer), the sense of community. There was no snobbery, no catty in-fighting, just a sense of genuine happiness for the winners and participants. The Canadian beer industry (outside of the big two) is basically a small, but growing, industry. As Mike Ligas, the Brewmaster and my boss at Magnotta put it, "It's a big country, but it's a small industry". But with all the small guys banding together to create a larger, more sold unit the future of microbrewing in Canada has never looked better.
So yeah, it took me 30 years to get to my first ever beer awards and it was wonderful. Pretty much exactly what I imagined a beer awards ceremony would be, beer and prizes.
So what's next?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Life Begins at 30

This is me at 30.


There is some kind of stigma, some deeply ingrained idea, an unwritten rule if you will, floating around out there amogst the general population, that by the time you're thirty you're supposed to be a grown up. Respectable. Responsible. Reliable. The 3 big R's.
I've been 30 for 10 days now and I still don't feel any different. (I'm still actually wearing the same mask and clothes. (They are now permanently fused to my skin)). Don't get me wrong, I think that I am most of those things, (with or without the crotch hugging speedo's) I just don't feel like a grown up yet.
The title of this blog is A Mid Mid Life Crisis. I don't actually feel like I'm having a mid mid life crisis, infact I'm quite comfortable and happy with my life as it stands right now. And for the most part I was before I freaked out, quite my comfortable 9 to 5 office job, moved half way around the world for 6 months, learned how to brew beer, moved back and began my new career as a brewer.
I had and still have a wonderful wife, I was and still am surrounded by a great circle of family and friends and I had and still have a nice house in a city I love terribly.
I think that when they say you are having a mid mid life crisis, it's not the things that you have that get you worried and keep you up at night. It's not that you want to give up or change the things you love in your life, for me personally I'm quite fond of pretty much everything in my life. It's the things you don't have and haven't achieved that begin to worry you.
Unlike the cliched male mid life crisis at like 50 where you abandon everything that is important in your life, like your family and friends for a flashy new car and a trophy wife in a vain pursuit to recapture a lost youth. The mid mid life crisis is more about embracing your new found adult hood and freedom. Enjoying it so that when you look back in twenty years you don't regret anything.
Thirty isn't old, don't get me wrong. I still feel young and I probably will for a long time. But as I approached the dreaded 3-0, there was this nagging feeling that if I didn't act now, if I didn't take the chance, this would be it. I would be staring at the rest of my life at that very moment. I was always going to be working at the same job, doing the same work, in the same cubicles for the rest of my life. Mind you, this wouldn't neccessarily be a bad thing. It was a fun job, it paid well and I met many of my friends while working in this job. In fact I've had many experiences that I probably never would've if it weren't for this job. But it just wasn't for me. I didn't want to do it any more.
I didn't want to give up my wife, I didn't want to give up my family, my friends or my house. All of these pieces of my life were great and made me happy. But now that I was looking at thirty I felt that maybe I would never get to take another chance at a new career.
So I leapt. I jumped at the first inkling of a dream. Thus ironically proving that I was still terribly young.
The first lesson I learned after I turned 30 was that, you really aren't any older than you were the day before. Life isn't over. It's not disappearing on you. There is still lots of time to do everything that you want to do. Patience.
I don't regret leaving and going to Berlin for 6 months, but I do regret missing those 6 months with my wife. In hind sight, I could've waited for another year and maybe we could've gone together. But this is another part of getting older. Of becoming a grown up. Of turning 30. Learning.
And that is what this blog is going to be about. My first year as a a thirty year old. My first year as a "grown up". What I accomplish and where I fail. I've already gotten my first job as a brewer. I've already ran my first half marathon. I've already vomited on my feet and been carried out of a bar.
What's next.